lie down and die

Lie or lay? I'm not sure but I do know, I'll go down swinging.

I've been going round and round about some changes that are going to greatly impact the arts instruction in the next year. I'm loosing sleep, hair, and maybe some respect from others over what I passionately believe. Will it matter in the end? Most likely not. The people who have to consider the biggest picture will make a decision and apologize (I hope) while we are figuring out how to adjust in the best possible way to the changes.

Looking at strategy is really foreign to me. I'm terrible at games that require strategy. Chess, I've been taught chess a dozen time and I just can't see three or four moves ahead. Mostly because it's a game and I just don't care. It's supposed to be for fun. However, this isn't fun. This is my career, my students education, and my departments program. This, I will fight for. For this is will learn the rules and do my very best to figure out our strategy.

I love teaching. Have I mentioned that?

After a heated meeting one of my colleagues came to apologize for implying I was being "selfish". I laughed and said that I didn't take offense. I was selfish, for my students sake.  Another commented, "I could hear the passion in your voice when you talked about how this was going to create problems in your classes." I chuckled and replied, "I hope it doesn't come across as overly emotional but passionate." She assured me that it gave her goosebumps rather than pity. Fingers crossed I'm not looking like a loon while I stand here with my flag planted.

What has resulted from my efforts was an unannounced visit, from some of the "top" to all the arts classrooms, one morning this week. I was skimming some self reflections and my students were brain deep in a colored pencil and typography assignment. The class was serene with one hold-over who had just come from a discipline meeting. I was letting him cool before I descended to re-focus his attentions. I explained to the "top", this is an ideal class. He asked me to define, "great mix 9-12 grade, honest interest, attentive, thoughtful, wide variety of ability, always willing to try and share." I added that I was really lucky that for the past few years, I've had amazing groups of students, they are fun and interested/ing. I really enjoy my time with them. The "top" grinned at me. I think I was getting that passionate voice again. He went on to comment about the writing I was looking at, he didn't realize there was writing going on in the arts. I talked about using the reflections to gauge students acquisition of the language and vocabulary. I also see where students have thought about the process or just met the expectations. I do it. It works.

While this was going on the other "top" was quizzing students about the classroom organization; where was the agenda, expectations, how did they know what to do? I chuckled. Go ahead, ask. They know this. Do they know how to predict what color to mix? We're getting there. Do they know how to use positive and negative space with balance? Not yet, that's next week. Do they understand that the layout organizes all the parts? Yes! Does the organization matter? You bet! How? Why? Again, work in progress. But do my students know what is expected in the classroom? YES! Now I have to ask myself, does that matter? Mixed feelings.

I have no idea if what I've done to bring the arts to the attention of the "top" will be successful. I do know that no matter what happens I will continue to encourage my students to try new things, to ask why as often as possible, and to love the act of creating. These things I will continue to fight for.

This blog was started as an assignment in a tech class I'm nearly done with. I thought about what I'd like to be reading about and this is what came to mind, a blog talking about the difficulties related to creating a teacher from a college student. I'm starting to think that I'm the one who is still in the process of creation.